July 07 Onwards

When I last spoke to you I was in the Lao town of Thakhet and I was having a relaxing afternoon of it, before aiming to get an early night in so that I could get up early the following morning in order to carry on with my travels...

Well that was the idea anyway... and I must say the fact that her nextdoor felt the need to air her dirty washing during the early hours of the morning meant that I didn't get much sleep that night at all in the end!

Despite this I am pleased to say that I managed to stick to my plan by travelling 130km the following day though, oh and in doing so I must say that I had a very interesting time of it to say the least!

Things started in fact when I was approximately 10km into my journey, as it was here that I managed to come across my first ever staged cock fight which was being held in the front of what appeared to be a cycle repair shed (eek dodgy ground here!)

So anyway, then as I stopped for some food 40km later I met a Lao Beer business man who took great pleasure in telling me that he was helping to open Lao Beer's second brewery (so that they can get their 1% export total up and supply more Lao Beer to places such as the UK ;o) )...

Oh and then after this, to top things off, at the end of the day I also ended up having what turned out to be a comical 15km race with 3 locals who were driving what appeared to be a rotovator on wheels as well! (You wanted to see the state of us... a high-speed James Bond type chase it most definately wasn't!)

Anyway, home for that night and the following day for me was a town called Savannakhet, this being a place which (according to my very poor guide) would not only be very popular with Thai tourists (due to it's close proximity to the Thai border), but it would also have a lot of French colonial architecture for me to look at as well.

Oh, and even though it didn't have any tourist attractions as such, it did have a dinosaur museum which I could visit would you believe!

Ha ha! Actually on the subject of which (well I had to go didn't I?!), when I went to see it I think I gave the lady who was sat outside the front of the main entrance quite a surprise as it goes, because by the looks of it she hadn't seen a visitor for quite a while (probably not since the dinosaurs were around!)

I have to say that once I got inside I could see why though, as apart from there being a room full of bones (oh and the world's biggest [3metre x 10metre] neon outline of a Diplodocus) there wasn't a lot else for me to see!

Moving on anyway, and the following three days saw me add on 70km, 105km and 64km respectively in an effort that took me to the Lao town of Pakse in the southern province of Champasak (which incidently is where I am writing this now)... and despite the lack of substantial food, well apart from being able to find the odd small rounded meat things that my mate at the academy used to call "Protein Bullets" whilst I was in China that is, oh and the odd roadside toasted mini-banana too of course... I am pleased to say that I had quite a bit of fun along the way indeed!

Ha ha! So much has happened during the past few days in fact that it's untrue!

Amongst other things I met and cycled with my first ever ex-US Cowboy who just so happened to be riding a bike that belonged to a female US Olympic cyclist in the 90's (talk about rubbing shoulders with the famous, eh?!)...

I met a local fella who felt the need to stop his motorbike and wheel it alongside me so that we could hold a UK-Lao cultural exchange which lasted a whole 10km...

I met some lads who invited me along to their party/BBQ...

Oh, and I also stayed in a guesthouse for 2 nights that not only doubled up as a motorcycle repair shop... but it also seemed to have the world's most vicious little dog guarding it as well!

Actually, on the subject of dogs... Hmmm...

Well firstly... Am I a dog person?

Yes, of course...

And... Was I absolutely GUTTED (yes G-U-T-T-E-D) when I found out that I ate dog noodle soup whilst I was in China?

Yes, most definately...

And so... Upon me leaving the restaurant where they served up the above atrocity, did I deserve to have the 3 dogs chase me down the street whilst I was trying to hop away from them on my crutches?

Yes, of course I did...

But wait a minute though actually...

Having said this... Do I now deserve to have dogs of every description come up to me and growl at me whilst I am cycling or walking in Laos?

Hmmm... Ok I'll let you decide on that one!

So anyway. This guesthouse dog.

Ha ha! Well what a nightmare he turned out to be!

Yes I could deal with his mate barking at me down the road as I went back of an evening, because I could ignore him and walk straight on...

But this little fellow?

No way!

He wasn't having me come onto his property at all.

The first night I had to walk straight past (yes straight past!) my own guesthouse entrance because of him and wait for a motorcycle to enter so that it could divert his attention... and then the second night (it is lucky that I only stayed there for two nights you know!)... well the second night would you believe I had to go to the extent of buying an egg kebab (that consisted of 4 hard-boiled eggs being pierced through a skewer- yuk!), so that I could throw the eggs at him if he came anywhere near me!?!

Ha ha! Needless to say he didn't do anything in the end, but I must admit that this whole experience is kind of making me feel glad that I spent the 180 UK pounds on my rabies jabs just before I came out here!

Back to my travelling though, and I tell you what, the places I have been to recently have been so out there in the back and beyond it is untrue...

In fact the towns along the route I have been using have been so small and non-descript at times, that I have actually cycled through a couple of them along the way without realising!

Ha ha! There are no suburbs to these places... there are no buildings over 2 stories high... nor are there any high streets full of glass fronted shops either...

Instead actually, when I arrive at a new town, I usually just find a 1km stretch of dusty wooden sheds with the odd cow or two roaming the road... (and when you add on the prehistoric buses that rumble past with the odd headlight missing now and then, or even the odd rusty old lorry that goes by without any windscreen, it is fair to say that it feels like I am appearing in a live episode of Heartbeat at times!)

Having said this, I must say that Lao does have it's fair share of Toyota pick-ups cruising around at high speeds... oh and upon me enquiring about the extortionate number of sprayed vehicle outlines on the road that are next to the outline of a little person on a bicycle, one of the locals did go on to tell me that this country does seem to have a drink-driving problem on it's hands as well...

Seriously though, it's as a result of this I have made sure that I have been well and truly off the roads by the time it gets to dark o'clock each day as it goes, but not that this makes a difference though, as the sight of a local sipping a Lao Beer whilst he is tucking into his breakfast at 8am in the morning is quite a regular occurence really!

Actually, on the subject of driving in this part of the world, it's funny because I didn't have the knowledge of exactly what parts of China I could cycle in when I was visiting there, as some of it is closed off to foreigners and you can get fined by the police if you get caught in a closed off area...

And the thing is, even though I thought that the traffic in China was mad to say the least, I must admit that us Westerners at the academy always used to console ourselves on this matter, by thinking that maybe each cell knew what any other cell was doing at any particular time over there by telepathy... well until we found out the shocking statistic that there were around 250 road related deaths in the country EACH DAY of course!

(Oh and upon finding out this fact may I add that I DO now believe the Chinese person who told me that their ambulance service would have been too busy for me to go and visit them one time!)

Anyway, back to my recent travelling adventure (and the boring statistics that come with it!)...

I have managed to cycle 618km so far would you believe... so what with the further 150km ("ish" give or take 10km/20km) I am going to do... by the time that I reach the 4,000 Islands complex I hope to have covered around 750km in total...

If you did manage to read my last couple of posts, I think I remember my original estimate for the journey being 650-700km as it goes... and even though my actual total will exceed that of my estimate if I manage to complete it, me being the absolute geek that I am, I have already completed one small detour (and will hopefully complete another quite soon as well)... this being in order to make up for my poor first-day performance when I only managed to cycle 51km on a flat tyre you see...

I'm a strange lad me eh?!

By far the most important thing though (and I really don't want to jinx myself by actually saying this in words), but the strange object that I am carrying with me is still (rather amazingly) in one piece.

Can you believe that?!

Quite what I am going to do with it when I finish this journey I do not know (as I didn't think it would make it this far without cracking or smashing to tell you the truth!)... but hey, the very strange looks I have been getting as I have been travelling around with it recently have meant that it has been worth it's weight in gold!

Oh and finally, on the subject of which, take a look at the picture below! (And before you ask... no it's not mine!)

It just so happened to be the first (other) Western one I had seen at the time for about a week, and at the end of a day of travelling for 104km, I had to admit laughing to myself when the guest house owner was showing me my room and I saw it... it seemed to make mine look more normal being tied to the back of my bicycle!

Speak soon ;o)

If you haven't kept up with my blog for a while, as a quick update I left China approximately 2 weeks ago and I headed south into the country of Laos.

Once in Laos I spent one week travelling through 3 towns in the northern region (mainly by bus) and I ended up staying in the capital city of Vientiane for a few days...

Here I bought myself an old bicycle and (would you believe) a ceramic toilet, and I am now trying to travel to the 4,000 islands in the south of the country, where I hope to be able to catch a glimpse of the rare Irrawaddy dolphin (apparently there are not very many of these left in the world)...

This blog entry actually starts 5 days ago when I left the capital of Vientiane, in a journey that initially saw me travel in a broadly easterly direction, before ultimately heading southwards (which is what I am doing now), and this is being written in the Lao town of Thakhek...

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So anyway... I suppose that it is best for me to start on Day 1 of this most recent adventure of mine, and in doing so it is fair for me to say that things (quite literally) went off with a bang, as during the first hour of my journey whilst I was cycling out of Vientiane, not only did I manage to sustain 2 punctured inner-tubes, but on top of this I also had to deal with the fact that my rear tyre decided not to fit my rear wheel anymore!

Ha ha! Things got even better when I tried to get myself a tyre replacement as well, because after visiting 3 of the first bicycle repair sheds I came across on my route, it soon became clear to me that (even though I thought I had bought myself a local "looking" bike)... the fact that it was originally from Japan meant that it was as foreign to this country as what I was, this ultimately meaning that there were no spare parts to be found anywhere outside of the capital city here!

Despite this, after a quick scratch of my head, oh and approximately 50,000 "donks" as well (each "donk" being the noise of the rear inner-tube valve being passed under the weight of the bicycle during every turn of the wheel)... I am still happy to say that I found myself being over 50km down the road though...

Yes I was cycling at a snail's pace... and yes the kids on their way home from school were overtaking me... but I have to say that was a lot of fun indeed and that I met many nice people along the way... including an off-duty policeman who gave me something that came out of the ground which appeared to be food... (I have to admit that I didn't know how to eat it though, so I decided to keep it with me as a lucky omen until some local grabbed it from me whilst I was in the middle of nowhere as he tried to sell me a stolen passport)...

In fact, when I look at it, there was a lot to be positive about during my first day really, as the weather stayed nice, there weren't any hills to climb, and bicycle mechanics-wise (aside from the rear wheel dilemma) the rest of the bike seemed to function ok as well... although having said this there was one point during the afternoon when the front wheel nearly fell off, and to be honest I was lucky to be able to fix it when I did, or else I would have been in serious trouble!

Actually it was whilst I was fixing this problem that I was able to make my first friend from the global cycling community as well! Well to call us "friends" as such is perhaps a lie... as he was as professional to the world of bicycling as what I was unprofessional... so it is fair to say that our social encounter ended up being very quick and very painful indeed I suppose!

Ha ha! For some reason I do seem to find myself having problems with cyclists recently you know, as the last one I met earlier on this year was an elderly female cyclist who I (quite literally) bumped into as I was out jogging in Beijing!

In fact, as the story goes, she cut straight across my path which meant that I had to do an emergency pivot at the time (whilst kind of leaping into the air), and I eventually had to watch her wobble down the road in slow motion... where she ended up stacking it in front of the world and his wife of course!

Anyway, back to the cyclist I met in Laos. And he seemed to be approaching me with caution at first. The sight of me being bent over a front wheel that was hanging off a bike with a ceramic toilet on top of it must have been worrying him!

Despite the fact that it looked as if we were never going to hit it off though, I still decided to brave it and break the ice by asking him where he had come from...

Well I soon found out that he had ridden up from Bangkok, and that it had taken him 10 days... and (ha ha!) as the conversation went on, I must admit that it was quite funny when I had told him where I had been since I left the UK... because I think that he initially thought that I had cycled everywhere!

Upon seeing the surprise on his face as I told him of my travels across Europe, Russia, Mongolia and China though, I soon set him straight by telling him that "I didn't do it on this" (whilst pointing at my bike) and that "I am not a cyclist"... so he then let out a knowing "Ah!" sound, which he also very cheekily supplemented with a "Well I can guess that judging by what you are riding/trying to ride" kind of look as well...

I must admit that I had to draw the line at his "Can I help you?" question though, which may I add, was said to me in the same tone as what I say to a 2am Friday morning "The world is going to end" job at work... so with a quick... "Nah it's ok mate" from me and an "Ok, well... erm... good luck!" from him, we both went our different ways...

Well actually, if the truth be told, he went his way, and it wasn't until approximately 10 minutes later when my front wheel was back on that I was able to carry on with my journey as well...

The thing is, a few hours later and a few more km down the road I was forced to stop for the day, because by my reckoning there was only one hour of sunlight left, oh and there was also the fact that my back tyre had worn all the way down to 3 pieces of wire, and so the clash of the metal wheel rim against the road was making such a horrendous noise as well!... (this was quite cool to look at and inspect actually, as I have never seen a tyre in such a bad way before!)

So... Back to the story, and despite the fact that I was in the position of having a good(!) day's worth of travelling behind me, I did find myself having the slight problem of being in the middle of nowhere at the time... and because of this (oh and because of the fact that there also wasn't a bed for the night in sight) I suppose you could say that I was in need of some good old fashioned help really.

Fortunately I am glad to say that I didn't have to wait for long for some to arrive however, as it soon came in the form of a young couple who were kind enough to pick me up in their van in order to take me to a local town where I could find some accommodation...

The funny thing was though, that as I hopped on board their vehicle, I realised that they were also giving some old people a lift as well... and they just so happened to be sat in the back of their van on a brand new 3-piece suite of all things would you believe!

Ha ha! As you can imagine it was a very bizarre sight indeed, and I have to say that once my toilet was in place the whole set-up in there resembled a mobile Lao version of a Barrett Showhome!

Anyway, needless to say the journey lead to a good end to the day, because when I was dropped off in the centre of a reasonably large local town I was able to find a bed for the night with ease... oh and there was also the added bonus of the location being quite close to all the shops, so I went to bed thinking that this would make it quite easy for me to buy a replacement back wheel early the following morning as well...

Hmmm... No such luck!

As I limped my bike across to what seemed to be the only bicycle repairer I could find the next day it soon became apparent that, in order for me to carry on with my journey, my only option would be to make do with buying a second bike that was made in Thailand (which is very common with the locals here)...

Oh and I also had to deal with the fact that the owner of this bicycle place most definately seemed to have the upper hand on things when it came to dealing with me and my bicycle dilemma too...

Having said this I don't think he went to the same business school as what Richard Branson did though, as his first suggestion was to take the two wheels from his own bike and put them on mine at a more expensive price than what he was asking me to buy the actual bike they came from itself!?!

Obviously, it was with this in mind I opted to buy his bike from him of course... but when it came to the exchange of money I was dismayed to see that his business sense did see through, and that he did in fact possess enough savvy not to do a part-exchange deal on mine (with him telling me that "it comes from Japan and that we don't have Japanese spare parts here in Laos" ...yes... you already told me that one thank you!)

After a bit of scouting around in the local town I am pleased to say that I did manage to sell it to a local lady later on however... oh and it just so happened that the time of the sale coincided with a birth of a baby celebration she was attending... so 5 minutes later I found myself being sat down with her family and friends whilst swilling back some Beer Lao and tucking into a sumptuous feast of sticky rice, fish, beef and vegetables (this was at around 9am in the morning by the way... I don't think that my taste buds have ever been woken up so early before!)

A couple of hours and a few hiccups later I said my goodbyes to them... where later on in the day I found out that things were to get even better for me when I met a really nice group of local people that were about my age... and even though this meant that I had to cancel a dinner arrangement with the deputy in charge of the local forestry commission(!), I am pleased to say that I had a very nice time with them indeed.

In fact... in meeting them not only were they kind enough to take me on a tour of the local town during the following day... but they also bought me dinner by the Mekong River (where incidently I saw my first ever view of Thailand)... they introduced to a chick-boy who fancied me (apparently he had "the body of a man and the heart of a woman!")... oh and then (upon them finding out that I was a Christian and despite the fact that I haven't been to church for years) they also took me to a house party that was being held in aid of the Virgin Mary... where there was more beer being drunk and more food being eaten than I have ever seen in my life before!

That night two of the girls I met took me out in their 4x4 and we actually ended up going to the local nightclub as well... where I think they appreciated the fact that I am indeed a cheap date when it comes to drinking alcohol now... because after about 3 Beer Lao's I must say that I was feeling quite drunk to say the least!

I wasn't so drunk as to miss the confrontation between two of the locals at the end of the night though (which ended up involving the whole of the nightclub)! In fact it is fair to say that once it spilled out onto the car park I have never seen so many fists flying in the air! (It was even bigger than the fight Neil, Faye and I saw up The Tavern in Sheffield that time Grandma!)

Back to my road trip though...and what a difference two pumped up tyres make eh?!

The following day I set off around mid-morning and I managed to cycle 91km to another town (actually I have to admit that 3km of those were walked as the chain snapped at one point so I had to stop cycling until I could find a cycle repair shop)... but anyway... this probably ended up being my best day in Laos so far... as there were little children running up to the roadside to wave at me and shout hello... there were families sitting down eating their meals beckoning me to stop and join them for a while... there were parties being held that I was being invited to... there were even motorcylists slowing down to smile and say hello to me from time to time... in fact it is fair to say that it was pretty special stuff for me to experience.

On top of this (when I eventually reached the town I was heading for in the early evening) I am thankful to say that I had the bonus of being able to find my home for the night with relative ease as well...

It was only a small room that was in the back garden of a sweet old couple's house (actually to call it a room was debatable as there were more cracks and air-spaces in the wall than wall in places... oh and the washing "facilities" they had on offer purely consisted of a tap and a bucket combo!)... but hey I didn't care... it was exactly what I wanted, and as a result I found myself laying on my bed that night whilst the sounds of rural Laos were sending me to sleep in my strange dreamlike state... Perfect!

Then... an early rise the following morning... a 100km ride later and I was at my next town... which coincidently is where I am at now.

Not bad going for a shopping bicycle with 20 inch wheels eh?!

I have to say that the town itself here is not too pretty, in fact the most striking thing about it seems to be the number of pregnant dogs walking around the streets... I have never seen so many!

The people are nice though... and I am pleased to see that my tongue seems to be adapting to the Lao speech ok as well, so as a result I seem to be able to order myself some meals ok at first attempt now... (although I am missing the culinary delights of China- oh and on the subject of which... I just want to say to the Headmaster of the academy in China that the chips and fried fish he was feeding us on a daily basis wasn't "the food that normal Chinese people eat" at all... in fact I think that I may write him a letter telling him to put his hand a bit further into his pocket on this front in the future!)

Anyway... so the town I am at is not all that great at the moment... but hey let's hope the next place I visit is better eh?

In the meantime though, I have a great room that has the first shower with warm water I have experienced for nearly two weeks... oh and it also has a television, so I was able to watch a repeat of the recent Man Utd v Man City game as I woke up this morning...

Yes I agree this is something that I wouldn't usually do... but after seeing the number of locals who have come up to me during the past couple of days whilst waving 2 fingers up on one hand and 1 finger up on the other hand and shouting out "Man City!" I must admit that I did kind of feel obliged!

It was a good game to watch as it goes!

For now though it is time for a bit of lunch (and a quick visit to a lady down the road who should have hopefully finished washing my clothes for me) before I start looking into how far away the next town is...

Speak soon ;o)

Well what a week!

Since I last spoke to you in the Chinese city of Jinghong I have had to travel through 5 more towns and endure 25 hours worth of bus journeys in order to get to where I am now (the Lao Capital City of Vientiane)... so I suppose you could say that I have had a busy and exciting time of it indeed... (especially when you throw a 1 hour stint on the back of a pick-up van, a short pillion ride on a motorbike and a tuk-tuk journey across no-man's land into the equation as well!)

And from the neon lights/brothel combination that lined the streets in the Chinese border town of Mengla (which just so happened to be China's last-ditch effort to try and surprise me at it's seediness!)... to the rural villages in Laos (where people share their living quarters with pigs and cows)... oh and the wooden shed where I had to get my visa issued over here... it is fair to say that I had some very contrasting experiences as I was crossing the border to say the least!

Anyway... may I take this opportunity to welcome to you Lao PDR (which according to a local businessman I met means "Lao Please Don't Rush"!)... and in doing so I have to say that it is a place which appears to be the most chilled out place on earth that I have ever had the pleasure of being able to visit...

The national religions here seem to be Buddism, drinking Lao Beer, eating baguettes and listening to loud music (the Lao people will be proud to admit all 4 of these by the way!)... and when the local town folk are not doing any of the above, they seem to be either working hard in their shops or cruising around on their little motorbikes (there are literally 1,000's of them flying around the place!)

There are no traffic jams in Laos though (which is a pleasant surprise)... oh and there is no litter problem as well(!) On top of this... the weather is always beautiful here... the skies are always clear... oh and it also seems to be a place where smiles are continuously worn... where traditions are strictly adhered to... and where hands are clasped together in your direction whenever you meet somebody new...

In short... what a nice country indeed!

During my time here I am pleased to say that I have met some very nice people along the way as well... and whether it be the local man who taxied me to a Chinese shop for free so that I could pick up some gear for my travels (as apparently "the Chinese people here sell everything"!)... or it be the deaf girl who wrote to me for an hour in the local bookshop... or it even be the Kiwi girl who showed me how to have a good time in the town of Luang Prabang... I guess you could say that I have been very fortunate indeed.

Having said this though I have been blessed with spending some time with some of life's strange folk as well!...

Earlier on in the week I had the pleasure of finding out that my room-mate for 2 nights turned out to be one of life's "I don't use deodorant because it's bad for you, I don't eat meat and I don't drink alcohol" type characters (who incidently wasn't too sure if he was going to see the waterfalls or go trekking in Laos because he could "see waterfalls or go trekking anywhere")...

And then later on during the same day that I met him (why is it that these people always come in 2's and 3's?!)... I also had the fortunate pleasure of meeting somebody who just so happened to be the most abrupt person in the world ever as well! (She came in the shape of a short slightly rounded French lady called Sylvie who was from the island of Corsica...)

Firstly when I asked her if she had heard of the lovely town that I went to on the French south coast a few years ago, her reply was "yes" and that she "didn't like it" there... then- whilst we were admiring the beautiful (blatantly) French colonial architecture of the street that we were walking down- I asked her if it reminded her of France at all... to which her blunt reply was "No"!... and finally- as some dodgy local tried to push a bag load of hash into my hands later on in the evening- she felt the need to whisper a stern warning into my ear by telling me "not buy any drugs from funny looking men as 2 people from her island of Corsica came to Laos last year and they died here because of drug poisoning".

Thanks for that one Sylvie!

I am pleased to say that she seemed to lighten up after a good feed and a bottle of bitter at a local restaurant though!

Ha ha, and on the subject of restaurants (would you believe this...) I actually managed to help out some Chinese tourists by converting a Lao-English menu into Chinese so that they could order themselves a meal!

Comedy moment aside though, after spending the best part of 7 months being more or less totally dependent on other people, I must admit that I did find it very nice to be able to help others out for once!

And it was with this in mind that I made a concerted effort to learn some Lao language as well... so after a bit of searching I managed to find myself a nice local teacher who was able to give me 3 hours worth of language lessons at a very decent price.

It's just as well I did so really though... because very soon I shall be putting myself into a situation where I may well need to know a bit of the old local lingo...

Basically I have to travel the best part of 700km to where I want to get to next (the complex of 4,000 islands that are in the very south of the country)... and instead of completing this journey in the conventional way I have decided to do it with my new partner in crime...

As a quick introduction to her... her name is Ingrid, she has a dark, rusty complexion, oh and she is apparently of Japanese origin as well...

In general she seems to be a nice old girl, but I must say that she appears to have been around the block a few times though (and despite the fact that she has had a facelift, she probably does look a bit older than what she actually is)...

In case you were wondering, she's a bicycle of course!

Anyway as the story goes... I spent 2 whole days searching for her, and I eventually found her in a large compound on the outskirts of town, where she was hidden amongst a pile of (quite literally) 100's of second hand bikes that had been imported into Laos from Japan...

When I first met her she had two flat tyres, no rear brakes and two layers of black paint peeling away from her, but even so, it was still love at first sight, and I am pleased to say that after a good thorough service she is now "raring" to go...

I want you to know that I am not easily pleased though, and that I did in fact turn down dozens of state of the art 21-gear mountain bikes during my tour of all the bike shops in the city before I found her!

Ha ha! In short, she's cool... (but she's not as cool as what I originally had in mind... this being a 3-wheeler contraption that is so, so, so common in China, yet for some reason over here it is as rare as rocking horse "..." )... but she'll do, and it is her "I was a school dinner lady's bike in a previous life" demeanour that has made me fall for her... (hence me naming her after my favourite school dinner lady!)...

Oh and on top of this, now that she's had a couple of extra fittings put on and yet another semi-decent respray, I suppose you could say that she has got a certain butch "A-Team" look about her as well!

Back to the story though... and the deal we have made with each other is that we are going to leave town together in a southerly direction later on this morning... where she is going to carry me and my gear down the hills as long as I stick to my promise of pushing her back up them again.

With only one gear to use, I am sure that it is going to be a very long journey indeed (and that such a lot can [and will] go wrong I'm sure)! And yes... those super-fast speed-freaks on their top of the range mountain bikes will be overtaking us left, right and centre of course... but hey, I haven't got an ego to massage... and besides which, we're not doing it with them anyway...

It's those mad hardcore local folk who we're doing it with... the guys who get up early in the morning with what seems like the contents of their house strapped to their bike in order to cycle it as far as possible until the sun sets in the evening...

So for now I am leaving behind the Laos with the Ibiza style bar strips and restaurants (and the drunken knee-slapping, hand-clapping game antics of the folk who are enjoying this side of the tourist set-up)... and I am going to try and experience a side of the country that I don't even know exists yet...

Don't you worry though... as I have my map, my compass, my vocabulary of around 100 local words (and yes maybe a little bit of my insanity with me as well!)... so if the truth be known I am probably feeling as ready for this challenge that lies ahead as I ever will be...

Ha ha- wish me luck and I will speak to you soon ;o)

Oh but before I go... about the title of this blog entry... well have you ever read Tony Hawkes book called "Round Ireland With A Fridge"?

I read it a while back and I have to say that it has to be one of my favourite books ever... so in honour of his adventure I have decided to do something similar myself.

You can see what I have planned by looking at the picture below...

If you managed to read yesterday's blog entry, you will know that I left China this week, and I am pleased to say that this now means that there is no more Great Firewall of "China" for me to deal with (see I can spell it properly now)!

Anyway. As a result I am able to show you some photographs... so below are 10 from September onwards (when for some reason I wasn't able blog photos any more)...

As you will see, I am not a professional photographer by any means, but despite this, I do hope that you enjoy looking at these pictures (oh and even though I don't like taking any photos of any of the locals usually, there is one in there that I couldn't resist putting in)!

Speak soon ;o)

It is February, and even though there are still a couple of weeks left before my Chinese visa expires, a few days ago I made the decision to leave China sooner than I expected so that I could move on to pastures new.

My main reason for doing so concerned the fact that (from Feb 6th) the whole of the country comes to a standstill for 1 to 2 weeks whilst the locals celebrate their New Year (and this would have meant that I would have been stuck in one place for 10 days or so whilst paying over the odds prices for my accommodation- not a good idea at all).

So, in order to escape this situation, my original plan last week was to jump onto a cargo ship in the town of Jinghong (south China) in order to start a 2 day river journey that would have taken me downstream (in a southerly direction along the Laos/Myanmar border) to a destination in northern Thailand.

Rather disappointingly though, I found out that the local authorities put a stop to this journey recently by making travellers take a faster passenger ferry (and I must admit that this idea didn't sit right with me because a) it didn't seem to be quite as exciting as being a stowaway on a cargo ship and b) it was more costly).

So as an alternative (and whilst I was remembering my regrets at transiting Mongolia and not stopping off there last year)... I then made the decision to try and undertake the bus-hopping border crossing into Laos (where I should be entitled to a 30 day Lao tourist visa at the border).

Of course, after researching it properly I must admit that there are lots of pros and lots of cons in doing so, but at this very moment in time however, I have to admit that I am very excited at the prospect of visiting Laos, and I honestly believe that it will give me such a good experience that the traveller in me is just looking at the pros.

As a quick introduction to the country, it is a relatively small landlocked region that only opened itself up to tourists about 20 years ago. History-wise I believe that it was under French Colonial Rule until the middle of last century, and since the 1970's it has been a single-party communist state.

At the moment it has a population of around 6 million people, and work-wise it is very under-developed (with most of the economy being based around subsistence farming).

Whilst I am visiting Laos if I get into any trouble I have to go to the Australian Embassy (because there isn't a British Embassy set up there) and (according to one source I have read) there is only one cashpoint in the whole of the country as well!

Apparently people who have visited Laos say that they have had a very good time there, and that it is a very beautiful, laidback country indeed, although despite this, certain parts of the north and the north east areas seem to be no-go areas though (this is mainly due to the fact that the US carpet-bombed this area during the war because of it's close proximity to Vietnam, and also due to the fact that there are many bandits and highwaymen in this area since a revolution that occured in the country in 1975 as well).

Anyway, and back to China... my favourite country so far.

I have had an amazing time here, and to be honest my only problems with trying to travel China have been to do with it's extremely large (European-scale) size! It is so big in fact that it would take me many, many years to get what I want out of it (and as a result I can't even begin to think what I have missed out on seeing during my time here)... but for the purposes of this year and my travelling adventure I have seen a lot and I am pleased with what I have achieved.

I must admit that I was left feeling rather confused when it came to choosing which sites to go and visit at times though- for example the dilemma I had last week as I was thinking about undertaking a 5-day round-trip to go and see an example of a matriarchal society I had been looking into...

As I was contemplating doing it, the books I was reading and the people I was with at the time were practically shouting at me to go there, and I was promised that it would be "...a great insight into a unique historical community where the women rule the households and the men drift from house to house having seemingly casual relationships with them"...

After a bit of investigating I started wondering if this really was going to be the case though- or if in fact it was just going to be full of local males who had migrated to the area because of the nice sounding 'walking marriage no strings sex' system that was in place- oh and further to this- the influx of females who possibly followed them there as well (who in turn opened up a load of brothels in order to capitalise on the high sex demand in the area)?

The truth is that I don't know the answer to this question because I decided not to go in the end... but I think I can guess it through reflecting on some of my other experiences in China though (that have left me feeling a little bewildered to say the least)!

And in mentioning this, it is fair to say that it is the strikingly raw difference between the beauty of China's tourist sites and the fact that it is a developing country which has truly amazed me at times, and it is this that I have found so interesting rather than the attractions I have been to visit themselves.

But above all else though, and as you probably well know already... it's the mad kind folk of this country that I have enjoyed the most...

And whether I be talking to the potato seller down the road, or I be meeting a local friend at a tea-bar in Beijing (who is telling me the story of when several decorated chaps visited his house on numerous occasions after bugging a telephone conversation between him and somebody who was promoting good things... oohh, dangerous ground here!)... these are the things that I have most gotten a buzz out of during my travelling... being able to speak to and integrate with people who's lives are so different from my own.

The truth is that I have learnt so much during my time in this country, and from picking up how to use chopsticks, to finding out the real reason why Beijing's numerous (sometimes dozens to a road) one-woman-band hairdressers have curtains, it certainly has been one hell of a steep learning curve for me.

Whether this has been China itself, or whether it's been just purely to do with the fact that it is the first time that I have been able to live in another country for a while, I really I don't know...

But anyway...

Providing the guards on the border are ok and that there are no sudden late rule changes concerning visas (oh and I have had to take the precautionary measure of carefully disposing of my Chinese literature for the crossing!)... the next time I hope to speak to you will be when I manage to track down an internet cafe when I am in Laos.

Exciting or what?!

Oh and then there is also the fact that the internet ban should hopefully be lifted, so I should finally be able to put some pictures on this blog again! (Was my last one posted way back in September?!)

Bye for now ;o)

Last weekend's 10 hour overnight sleeper-bus journey from the city of Kunming to the city of Jinghong was quite an experience to say the least!

Even though the bus was pleasantly clean and my funny-shaped bed turned out to be quite comfortable (the bus itself was very different to any other bus that I had been on before, as the layout of it's interior consisted of three rows of bunk-beds that ran up the whole length of it and these in turn were separated by 2 aisles)... I must admit that there were times when the journey seemed to be very long indeed!

Firstly there was the fact that I had the pleasure of being surrounded by a group of 10 or so people who originated from a certain other large English-speaking country (who just so happened to have a very vocal manner about them)...

And then (if that wasn't bad enough!) I found myself having to put up with the delight of having their ringleader position himself right next to yours truly- a funny looking man who felt it necessary to share many pointless facts with me as soon as he boarded the bus...

Hmmm!

Needless to say though, I was pleased to see that after about an hour of... "Did you know that there were 20,000 finger amputations in China in 2003?" and "Did you know that Beijing's pollution rating is... blah blah blah..."... type banter, he did finally manage to send himself to sleep... but I have to say that any hopes I had for catching up on some zzz's of my own turned out to be very slim indeed, as we had ended up having to stop every 2 hours or so for a toilet break.

Usually of course I wouldn't see the whole toilet-stop thing as being much of a problem, but on this particular journey however, instead of the ticket lady being discreet (and using the "if they wake up and they need the toilet when the bus stops, they'll get off" type approach), she seemed to take great pleasure in advertising the fact that we had stopped by shouting it out at the top of her voice whilst turning all of the aisle lights on.

Ouch!

Waking me up like this did lead to me seeing the funny sight of a couple of the locals trying to let their dog out of the luggage compartment for a walk at 2am in the morning though! The poor thing was massive (more like a polar bear than a dog!) and how it survived the whole journey in the dark like that I will never know!

Jokes aside, the journey was worth it in the end, as my new destination does seem to be a very nice place indeed.

It is a lot smaller than the last city I visited, but it is also a lot more laid back (the roads are just as important for the local traffic as they are for the people who want to kick back and relax in their rickshaws or even those who want to set up a stall to sell some food)... oh and the weather is a lot nicer too (once the sun breaks it's way through the fog at 11am in the morning, the temperature can actually get quite high).

The streets themselves are busy with lots of different people from different cultures (in fact at times it is hard for me to recognise where these people actually originate from), and as a result of this the food on offer seems to be more diverse than the other places I have been to.

Actually... on the subject of food, this leads me onto sharing with you some of the strange experiences that I have encountered over the past few days... (Ha ha! For those of you who have read my most recent blogs, you may have guessed that I do have the tendancy to talk about food quite a bit every now and then- typical bloke me, eh?!)

Anyway, back to my latest adventures, and I guess that the best place to start is the first time that I was able to take a walk around Jinghong in order to get a feel for what the place was like.

It was Monday afternoon, it was very hot at the time and I was feeling quite hungry, so I had just stopped off at an eatery in order to get some food...

As I was ordering my meal I must admit that I was pleased to see that things did seem to be going quite well, but there was an onlooker (a lady in her 50's who was sat down eating with her daughter) who seemed to think that this wasn't the case at all, so as I was paying for what I had ordered she came rushing over to "help" me out.

How on earth she thought she could help me I do not know, as it turned out that she couldn't speak a word of English... but after a while she could see that everything was ok though, and at which point she proceeded to invite me to sit down with her at her table.

As we ate our food she introduced me to herself properly (from what I could make out she was a steely ex-government worker) and she also introduced me to her daughter (a dance teacher who worked in the city I had just come from). We then talked about her husband (a police doctor) and me (who she referred to as 120- the Chinese version of 999).

Then... one hour later and I was at her apartment eating fresh melon and strawberries...

And two hours later I was round her sister's house eating hard boiled eggs (along with some food that I couldn't recognise) whilst sampling some French red wine (that was from one of the most extensive red wine collections I have ever seen).

Needless to say, it was a very pleasant experience indeed, although things did a turn for the worst a little later on, as the original lady I met seemed to develop a severe bout of gut rot, and as I was swilling around some of France's finest rouge in my mouth, she was pacing up and down the lounge whilst burping and rubbing her belly.

Twenty minutes later her sister came to the rescue though, as she then proceeded to give her a back-massage which seemed to help ease off the pain. And rather interestingly (from my point of view), after her massage had finished, it turned out that it was my turn to have one before I headed off home for a good night's sleep.

I must admit that it was a very nice (if hard) experience at the time, but the following morning I woke up not feeling too clever, as I had blocked sinuses and purple bruises (no joke!) all over my shoulders. A quick hot shower and I was fit though, and I ended up having a great day out exploring the local area on a mountain bike whilst riding through the local villages and seeing lots of houses on stilts.

During the evening I was invited back round to the lady's sister's house again where I was fed more home-made dumplings and "cow's bum" than I knew what to do with, at a feast that seemed to be the Chinese meal equivalent of one of Rocky's Philadelphia runs (due to the amount of people that tagged on and ended up knocking on the door for some nosh).

The man from the car park, the old lady from across the way, the original lady and her daughter, the hostess and her daughter, the 2 male friends, the other male friend... (oh and me- the strange Westerner who nobody knew of course)... we all tucked into one of the biggest spreads I have ever seen.

And if that wasn't enough... after dinner (well that's a lie, as "dinner" lasted throughout the course of the whole evening!) we all sat down and had... well a mini-party!

I got to witness a live Peacock dance (very clever and very beautiful) and I also got to hear a live rendition of a girl singing a Thai song.

I must admit that I got out of having to dance myself by way of pointing at my bad hip though (!)... but... hmmm... I wasn't so clever when it came to the singing side of things.

First out came the Bee Gees Karaoke CD... (I shook my head as if to say that I had never heard of them)... and then out came a CD that had the mix of songs on it that resembled a playlist from of one of Magic FM's late-night shows (my WORST nightmare!)

I initially got out of having to sing a string of love ballads by telling my hosts that I didn't recognise any of the songs on the list as they were all American(!), but even so they let the album play in the background, and my lie ended up revealing itself twenty minutes later as I was caught miming one of the songs to myself...

30 seconds later the mike was plonked into my hand, and before I knew it I was having to sing "Sailing"! (Yuk!!)

What a night eh?!

And that's not even bringing the marriage proposal that I had offered to me into the equation!!!

Ha ha!

****

So anyway.

It was my 28th birthday yesterday (31st January) and due to it coming round very quickly indeed I must admit that I didn't really give myself enough chance to plan anything big or special.

On the 30th I visited the local expat cafe in order to try and sort out a 2-day jungle trek in order to mark the occasion, but I ended up being not sold on the idea of sharing my birthday with an Italian couple in the jungle, so I went back to my accommodation during the evening in order to try and make up a strange itinerary of my own.

After a hour or so of reading and realising that the local town of Menghan was situated 27km down the local river from Jinghong, I am pleased to say that it soon became clear as to what I was going to do though... as I worked out that if I was to hire a mountain bike from the local cycle shop in order to bike there, I would have to travel a total distance of 28km (and this would equate to one km for every year that I have been on this earth).

A pretty cool idea I thought!

So yesterday- on the day of my birthday- after treating myself to a two-hour blind massage in the centre of town, I hired myself a mountain bike and off I went. (The massage was originally only meant to be a one hour session, but the massage lady ended up impressing me quite a fair bit by finding some injuries that I didn't even tell her about, so I let her work her magic on me, but as a result I must admit that she did end up taking my hip apart though!)

Back to the bike ride anyway, and as I was cycling out of Jinghong I did find myself being a little but confused as to what route I was going to take, as I had three maps on me that were pointing me in three different directions, but after a while I sussed it out though and it ended up being a very easy route to follow.

All I had to do was make sure that the river was always on the right of me at all times (oh and because of the fact that the road was pretty much slap-back right next to the river as well, this also meant that there weren't any really steep hills to climb either).

Even though it was raining hot, sticky rain during the ride I am pleased to say that it was a really nice experience (oh and that I kind of liked the feel of the town that was at the end of the journey so I ended up treating myself and staying there for the night as well)!

This ended up being a good decision to make because later on I made friends with a top Dutch fella, and we ended up celebrating my birthday by spending most of the evening sitting at a Dai food stall whilst making our way through quite a few litres of local beer and eating rice that was served up in bamboo-shoots.

He was a really nice guy as it goes, and in meeting him, not only did I find it nice to be able to meet somebody and have a proper conversation for the first time since I had left Beijing due to there being no language barrier, but it also turned out that he was just as appreciative of the fact that it was my birthday as what I was, and as a result I will remember my 28th birthday for a long time to come.

In fact (ha ha!) at one point (considering the Chinese were letting off the odd one or two early Spring Festival fireworks that were quite literally flying right by us as we ate) we decided to go halves on a mammoth firework kit ourselves and I ended up having a special birthday firework display of my own!

At about 10pm the Dai lady was shutting up her food stall though, and because of this we moved on to spend the last part of the evening in a wooden hut bar place that was stilted over a mini-lake of some sort. (In fact when you went to the toilet there, it quite literally went through a hole in the floor that lead to a 2m drop into the lake below!)

It was here that we made our way through the last beer of the night, and at which point we then said goodbye to each other and to the local people we met, and we went our own separate ways.

What a top bloke and what a fantastic day!

Now though it is one day later, and I am just sat in this internet cafe waiting for some heavy rain to pass, so that I can make the bike journey back to Jinghong (where I have another appointment with the Blind Massage lady so that she can put my hip back together).

But before I go, I just want to thank those of you who have sent me kind birthday messages on e-mail, etc, I want you to know that I really appreciated it and that I loved reading every single one of them, and as soon as I get a chance I will reply to you all individually ;o)